for his eyes this time.

i had a slight idea that it would happen.  the color purple, with a touch of white lace to add innocence.  the color teal and black matched my simple outfit.  it doesn't matter if it matches really, what matters is how it makes you feel.  sometimes the randomness adds to the flare...keep it interesting.  i knew those bottoms made mine look... spanish.  this is always fun at a dance party.  the music inspired me today, along with a couple of other favors.  the family of musicians is my back drop to one of the most memorable make.out moments of my life.  just like a dream, there was a fire place and several pieces of moveable furniture for some dance floor variety.  the soundtrack was fun, nice blend of rap and original hip-hop collaborations.  this is hilarious because i secretly go crazy over this type of music, especially when i get to roll around with a boy.  i admired him from afar for so long. days, months... for almost a year i had no idea that it was even something i wanted.  i just was always there to see and listen because i loved the music, i loved the purpose... then i fell in love with the band. it took time and several mutual friends later... he ended up in my kitchen for a haircut.  i knew the exact one.. i was on my way out west... small talk.  he liked it. a lot.  but here i was laying on the floor laughing with him.  red sunglasses...  the dim light of fire.  a deserted island, the stars like ice crystals...  i pranced around with him for hours, words will never express the happiness and joy i felt... also the deep and dark tone of the entire venture.  the fun in it is beauty... the curiosity of this creature.  something about keeping it simple and innocent can make for the most inspiring galavant of my life.  the one where a hint of red keeps me wanting more.  13.10.12

last minute lace charade.

he texted me quickly, and late at that.  it was a simple conversation, i think we both knew exactly what we needed.  it was a need at this point, i had pondered on it all day.  i needed to feel the touch a another human.  one that i knew, a familiar set of shoulders.  it was nice because the event didn't need a script.  it felt comfortable. we just laid in the silence of the dark evening.  the cold wind outside helped calm me for a minute.  the soundtrack was quiet, we couldn't wake anyone.  just a few keys, a familiar song in the night... the sound of a piano.  it's the only way i can breathe.  i can't control my heart rate anymore... he holds me like he missed me.  i laugh.  let the games begin.  its not about the sex these days... it's more about the inspiration.  the feeling of being wanted.  the want of feeling needed.  our story dates back further than tonight.  we started this adventure almost a year ago... the story continues.  i wonder if he could see the black lace in the small bits of light the street light created.  they were frail beings... carefully lined with a flesh colored ribbon, one tiny bow in the front.  i usually stay fairly dressed with him, he likes the mystery.  i enjoy the comfort a bit of lace offers in such a vulnerable moment.  i couldn't wait any longer... i kissed him.  not much, we were in a hurry at first.  today's circumstances are different than before... it has been months since we last felt each other.  i am now a bit more innocent.  but the pleasure of him still intrigues me.  it keeps me guessing and wondering for his next move.  he tell's me to slow down... "i want to play with you just a little longer."  the thing about me... i always disappear.  soon the sun will rise and our time is done.  i am gone before even the smallest sliver of her appears.  i wake up hours later in my own bed.  almost positive i dreamed him.  but the proof remains... the painting on the wall. 20.11.12